Parents expect to see their children grow and mature.
Ultimately, parents expect to die and leave their children behind…
This is the natural course of life events, the life cycle continuing as it should.
The loss of a child is the loss of innocence, the death of the most vulnerable and dependent.
The death of a child signifies the loss of the future, of hopes and dreams, of new strength, and of perfection.
- Arnold and Gemma 1994, iv, 9, 39
I found this book helpful!
Waking up is happy & difficult to do, especially when you realize it will be almost two years since that horrific day that changed my life forever. I continue on this crazy ride of emotions from feeling very sad to very happy. (Not working in over 5 years doesn’t make it easy either!)
No ~ I am not depressed, no I am still not crazy yet, and no I am not going through the change. Maybe just a tad slow to realize certain pieces of this puzzle.
WHO KNOWS! What the next year will bring.
Let me tell you what is is like for me, getting a double whammy smack me upside the head girlfriend slow down duh moment.
Whammy number #1
Thursday evening of this week the Bead Society of Greater Chicago had their annual election. Mind you I knew I was on the slate as I was nominated. I have been their Vice President of Programming for a year now. I had a lovely afternoon looking for a new facility to house our meetings with the current President. Actually, I had a lovely afternoon circling O’Hare airport while she scoped the new place. I shall admit one of my minor flaws is giving the gas companies more money; I got lost again. I tell ya, I just have no sense of East, West, North, South.
Whammy #2
Back in June of this year I decided to join in on the juried collaboration project together with
Michigan Glass Beadmakers Guild to create a piece with a Jewelry Designer I had never met, as I am a member of Glass Act another organization that is non-profit in MI.
The article regarding the collaborative, scroll down you shall see
Ladies and Gentlemen the votes have been counted and the results are in.
Whammy #2
The piece that was entered in the jury show took 3rd place ~
Whammy #1
I am president elect for the Bead Society of Greater Chicago ~
Sheryl Crow seemed to sum up my feelings best ~
“I’ve been long, a long way from here
Put on a poncho, played for mosquito’s,
And drank til I was thirsty again
We went searching through thrift store jungles
Found Geronimos rifle, Marilyn’s shampoo
And Benny Goodman’s corset and pen
Well, o.k. I made this up
I promised you I’d never give up
[Chorus]
If it makes you happy
It can’t be that bad
If it makes you happy
Then why the hell are you so sad?”
Sad, not really ~ just a little dumb struck.
The Bead Society of Greater Chicago ~ Join, have fun, meet new peeps, share your stories!
Whether it be a grief group, beading group, reading group, on line forum ~ any group!
It’s thearpy for me – That’s what makes me happy today!
This is going to be a lot of work as a volunteer position, but down the road this will be good for me, having a job ~ keeping me busy. This is what I can do for me. To make my days go by with more happiness, I think!
PS: if you are in the local area, – join volunteer, let’s make some history for the love of beads!
“The Coroner of Lake County, IL talking about life and death in the purview of a County Coroner”
Dr. Richard Keller ~is preparing for a series of talks that he will be giving next month regarding the effects of alcohol on the adolescent brain. It will be part of a panel presentation regarding underage drinking prevention that a group is presenting at 4 sites. He has spoken on the effects of alcohol on the adolescent brain at several venues.
“Dr. Keller”….
Of interest to this note is that at one of the group meetings one of the others involved asked me to be sure to specifically mention “alcohol poisoning”. (We also discussed my including the fact that alcohol is the ‘number one’ date rape drug)
We don’t see alcohol overdose deaths in underage drinkers very often, most cases get intervention before they die.
While it is an infrequent cause of death, we had one in our county this week.
A young 18 year old man died of alcohol overdose (who, as fate would have it, went to high school with my daughter).
My daughter described the memorial service to me last evening; many of his friends spoke highly of him and spoke of the tragedy of his death.
We often forget that alcohol kills, not just through car crashes, but because it is itself a toxin, a poison. Consumed in large enough quantities it can and does kill. Adolescents are particularly at risk because they tend to binge drink (5 or more drinks in rapid succession) and do not get the drowsiness shut off cue that most adults get.
The relatively new Illinois felony “social host” law will likely be invoked in this case: if great bodily harm or death results, the parent (host) faces possible imprisonment and possible significant fines.
Kids shouldn’t die when they are still kids
Think, don’t take chances, make good choices!
Please tell your daughter I am sorry for her loss. I shall be thinking of her.
Vonna
~ that numb feeling it’s gone
~ he’s gone
~ he’s not coming back
~ where did he go
~ why is he gone
~ why do mother’s have to suffer so
~ it’s not fair
~ it’s not right
~ it’s my reality now
~ reality sucks
I can feel this way and I have that right, so do you!
~ don’t let anyone tell you how to feel
~ the wound is too deep
~ take your time
~ don’t rush it
~ just try not to let it fester to long
~ you still have your life to live
thoughts~
damn jon its almost a year, i wish that would make it easier to try and talk to you but it doesnt, i wish it made me feel less guilty but it doesnt, i just hope whatever your at right now is awesome and your at peace with yourself, yaknow for a long time after your funeral i havent thought about you but i keep your picture in my wallet and i hope whatevers going on now is better then how things were. i wish i could talk to you just one more time man just to tell you how much we cared about you, but alas man im sure ill see you some 60 70 years from now and everything will be back to normal
much much love~a friend
The busiest time of the year for Dr. Keller, I am afraid to say ~
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Increasing Suicide Rate
After a decade-long decrease, U.S. suicide rates have started to rise, largely because of an increase in suicides among middle-aged white men and women.
A new study out of Johns Hopkins demonstrates increasing suicide rates 1999 through 2005. It also seems to show that those in middle age are more at risk than previously thought. Historically, those at greatest risk were youth/young adults and seniors, but nationwide that age dipole is changing. For many years here in Lake County, Illinois the ages have been more evenly spread, as has the geographic distribution over the county.
Just as the article wonders (linked here), it has certainly crossed my mind that the present economic “downturn” is likely to affect these demographics. It is early yet, but economics and other problems have always compounded the effects of depression to contribute to the risk of suicide.
Indeed:
“The key is getting people into treatment and getting people to use the resources that are available to them.”
[Just a note: we will be sponsoring a site for a local broadcast of the annual American Foundation of Suicide Prevention (AFSP)
National Survivors of Suicide Day event (Nov. 22, noon, Mundelein Fire Dept., 100 Midlothian Rd, Mundelein, Illinois)
Last year when we held the event it was a very interesting shared experience for all of the attendees and included an insightful local discussion.]
Went to a Party Mom
I went to a party,
And remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mom,
so I had a sprite instead.
I felt proud of myself,
The way you said I would,
that I didn’t drink and drive,
though some friends said I should.
I made a healthy choice,
And your advice to me was right.
The party finally ended,
and the kids drove out of sight.
I got into my car,
Sure to get home in one piece.
I never knew what was coming, Mom,
something I expected least.
Now I’m lying o n the pavement,
And I hear the policeman say,
the kid that caused this wreck was drunk, Mom, his voice seems far away.
My own blood’s all around me,
As I try hard not to cry.
I can hear the paramedic say,
this girl is going to die.
I’m sure the guy had no idea,
While he was flying high.
Because he chose to drink and drive,
now I would have to die.
So why do people do it, Mom
Knowing that it ruins lives?
And now the pain is cutting me,
like a hundred stabbing knives.
Tell sister not to be afraid, Mom
Tell daddy to be brave.
And when I go to heaven,
put ‘ Mommy’s Girl’ on my grave.
Someone should have taught him,
That it’s wrong to drink and drive.
Maybe if his parents had,
I’d still be alive.
My breath is getting shorter,
Mom I’m getting really scared
These are my final moments,
and I’m so unprepared.
I wish that you could hold me Mom,
As I lie here and die.
I wish that I could say, ‘I love you, Mom!’
So I love you and good-bye.
You don’t just know what to say do you? Trust me I totally understand this – but let me give you a few tips that may help you comfort not just me; but anyone in the same situation.
It is inevitable that during your life time, you will have a loved one die, it is the truth. This is a fact!
Let’s just hope it is not your child.
As I help you I help myself my experience and journey.
Sometimes, the fact that you know others just think about you makes you get through the day!
That’s my story today, and I am sticking to it!
I went to cast my vote today and guess who was on the ticket, well it was Dr. Keller!
Lake County Coroner Dr. Richard Keller gave a presentation October 28, 2008 during Adlai Stevenson High School located in Lincolnshire, IL, this was part of the schools Red Ribbon Week activities. He spoke to both parents and students about the effects of alcohol and drugs.
This event was covered by reporter Katie Okon of the Pioneer Press, her article made headline news.
“To the parents in the audience ~
Keller stated “Alcohol is a big problem. We are seeing more and more of that at a younger age.”
“You cannot scare your kids into behaving, but if you give them the facts 10, 20, 50 times, it sinks in.”
Read the rest of the story here ~
It is getting closer, that year, that first year is right around the corner.
Why do I write to you to tell I cry, maybe it will help you or maybe it will help me, all I know at this moment that it comes out of of nowhere those tears, the sobbing, the nightmares.In my lifetime, I have experienced many tragedy’s, but i have to tell you there is no greater tragedy than a mother losing a child at any age ~ I shall never ever go one day without thinking about Jonathan, he was/is my child and that bond will never be broken.
I do have to take care of myself and life life as best as I can everyday now for the rest of my life. I am actually not really telling these stories to you, so don’t think you are that special. If I don’t write things down, I’ll forget.
So ~ we all cry ~ and maybe have a laugh together ~ maybe it will help us both!
Laughter – that’s another story~ 
Let’s just cry, just for today! It will in the long run make us stronger, believe it!
So in closing, I did some research, as I believe I was poked to do so!
Click on the links to find out more about how to cope and why you cry ~
Mayo Clinic
Anniversary reactions can also evoke powerful emotional memories — experiences in which you vividly recall the feelings and events surrounding your loved ones death. You might remember in great detail where you were and what you were doing, for instance, when your loved one died.
Alternet.org
How Crying Can Make You Healthier ~
“The increasing research into crying and its beneficial health effects may also make shedding tears less of a taboo behaviour. As Professor Frey, author of Crying: the Mystery of tears, points out, it is no accident that crying has survived evolutionary pressures. Humans are the only animals to evolve this ability to shed tears in response to emotional stress, and it is likely that crying survived the pressures of natural selection because it has some survival value,” he says. “It is one of the things that makes us human.”
Don’t know why I’m telling you this…
“I had a dream of you Jon and his sister. She wasn’t in the dream physically.
She was mentioned but you and Jon were there she was away at college.
It seemed so real. It was strange because we knew Jon had passed.
You gave me some clothes to change into and I’m not sure why.
I changed in the room where Jonathan passed which was a small bedroom.
Weird thing is, his body was still in there. He lay there helplessly, but I didn’t cry, you woke him up. We talked about how his couldn’t go in the room anymore ever since “it” happened.
You went downstairs after waking him up to get him food, then he looked at me and smiled. His speech was all screwed up but I could see he knew exactly who I was and knew he loved me through his eyes and expression. His speech returned to normal and he hugged me and said I love you. You came in with a sandwich and cookies and that was all I could remember. I woke up and felt heartache. I miss him so much.
At the same time, I’m so glad I still dream of him.
It’s strange how in a dream when someone is “gone” they can still be alive.
I love you momma. I hope you’re doing okay.”
It’s time; this first anniversary, just around the corner, and so close you can taste it. I am not surprised as I too am experiencing dreams, I hear his voice call to me “ma” it’s okay I love you. Just before I lay down to sleep I hear his voice “ma, I love you”, comforting yet tearful and so sad.
Do you remember last year all the activity we felt within the house, the incidents? There has been much activity in this house as I sit here each day alone. For unknown reasons I collapse and just weep until I can weep no more; and then all of a sudden I feel his presence he is lifting me gently up off the floor.
No, it is not strange; if was him it was not just my mind telling me his is trying to bring me the peace and strength to get through the next few days. This could all be part of our grieving process. As it is my choice to believe that he is hear; I choose that he is here.
It is what I want to believe.
I do often wonder about his other three his three good buddies, [friends] the one’s that showed up drunk after the service to pay their respects and to say goodbye one last time, I often wonder if their dreams are nightmares?
I also pray for the other children now that I know that six from the same school, the same age, died this past year. I hope to do something special for all of them, I keep running into so many obstacles. I am only one. I do believe that somehow I will get this done.
!hear me speak
I sit back in amazement these days how fast this year has gone by ~
~ Only mother’s who have lost a child carried in their womb will understand my feelings, feelings of pain, the waiting for him to walk through that door or call me to check in, he is not coming home. He was too young, the world lost a great boy who would of become a great man.
~ We are not taught to grieve, we must learn how, we all grieve with different intensity within different situations.
~For those who were not around last year, you may not be able to understand the bond between those who did; that experience of shock that day. The so called knee jerk reaction to gather together as a community to support one of their own was amazing.
~As Jonathan has left me to finish his journey here on earth, many of you know this has now become my mission to educate & spread the word so that if just one life is saved, these boys deaths shall not be in vain!
~I find it only fitting and respectful to celebrate lives lost, tragedy’s suffered, sickness & health; and to be thankful we are here to support each other as one community of like in kind.
~I shall be lighting a candle in honor of my son as well as the other 5 Alumni from Stevenson High School, to honor & celebrate these lives lost so unnecessarily to dirty drugs.
Buffalo Grove Skate Park
Busch Grove Community Park
1000 N. Buffalo Grove Road
Buffalo Grove, IL 60089
Time:
7:30 pm Saturday November 29, 2008 - We will be congregating along the sidewalk ONLY ~ the park will be closed. Carpooling is highly recommended due to lack of No Parking.
Bring a candle with you!
Respectfully,
Vonna
~ Psalm 23 ~
The LORD is my shepherd,
I shall not be in want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
He restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name’s sake.
Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.
TAM (the angry mandrel ) is a very special place. It is so much more then what is seen from the outside.
TAM has become my saving grace this past year, as when my friends became strangers, these strangers became friends.
In honor of the forum members, family and friends we will be closed Sunday, Nov. 30th.
The forum will reopen Monday AM.
~ “May God Bless you all”
& “May God Bless you Chad Samson” ~ he did this for all of us a community of artists!
I don’t know if a forum has ever closed before!
I had a dream last night: no not about Cher!
Her song pretty well sums it up though.
“If I could turn back time
If I could find a way
I’d take back those words that hurt you
And you’d stay
If I could reach the stars”
I’d give anything to turn back time to bring back my son, but they say there is no cure. No cure to this deep pain of grief. I do know that all I have is time.
They say that time to heals, that I should develop a different relationship with my son.
In A Time to Grieve: Mediations for Healing after the Death of a Loved One (1994) the writer Carol Crandall states, “You don’t heal from the loss of a loved one because time passes; you heal because of what you do with the time” (Staudacher 1994, p. 92).
Now let’s see, what am I going to do with all this time? I do have a plan. I am not going to stop until I shout it out for all to listen to what I have to say.
“Talk to your kids, hear them Speak!”
Death by drug overdose, accidental homicide the report said! I say to the parents of my community ~
“Stop and smell the fresh roses, not the one’s on your child’s casket.” Do not feel the pain I feel, a child should not have to be buried by his mother.
This is what my son said to me in my dream last night.
Reflecting ~
You see ~ most of it was a blur in my mind ~
December 03, 2007
Just an email I wrote to someone I know ~
I am so happy that you called me ~ yes it took me by surprise, I some how new that you would call though
~ You have a kind heart
~ I believe the people that paths cross in life happen for a reason – Our conversations throughout out the emails passed have been without preconception.
(okay so I didn’t go to college and I did google this big word, and it sounded right so)
~ you are witty
~ you are a survivor
~ you are strong, you are my friend
~ for this am grateful
~ to me you are a an Angel from “God” that has touched my heart and I will feel that forever.
I believe you have dropped a part of your wing, and my son now will carry that with him in heaven.
I thank you – I hope this all makes sense as I feel like I am on a “Tilt a Wheel” right now -
~ Vonna
Response ~
Dearest Vonna,
That one line highlighted above has got to be the most profound and beautiful thing anyone has ever said to me.
And it brings tears to my eyes each time I read it.
Please don’t thank me….you owe me absolutely nothing.
It’s I who thank you for being who you are.
Please don’t ever change ~ *****
News ~ Live from the Coroner of Lake County!
Excerpts from written comments of students that attended health classes spoken to by my staff:
I also learned that people make lots of stupid decisions near me. That part scared me a bit, the fact that people who could be driving on the same street as me could make a bad decision that could kill me, even if I am being responsible.
At school we have presentations all the time on drugs and alcohol and telling us not to do them. But I think your presentation was the most effective, because you actually got to see what they did to your body.
I believe this is mostly a mental battle that has to be overcome by a person’s common sense rather that their desire to be with the crowd. …
I feel if a person can just build the mental capacity to avoid, their bodies will develop and grow more quickly and strongly than those of the ones who give in. Especially when driving, if their mental abilities are lacking or being focused on some unimportant social factor, they can cause serious harm to themselves and others.
Now I truly know the risks that I am taking no only for myself but for others if I put harmful substances into my body. Your presentation was inspiring as it made me realize how fragile life is.
It made me aware of just how important it is to make the right choices. You pointed out how being at the wrong place at the wrong time could be deadly. I found the facts you shared both interesting and at the same time frightening.
It’s frightening to lose a child ~ your child is lost!
Talk to your kids ~ hear them speak ~ before they can’t speak anymore!
Yesterday
I picked up a stranger from the train station yesterday, she was recommended by a friend, thought she could help me “organize” ~
On the ride back to the house I found out she had lost her child as well ~ she is a wonderful woman my age from Nigeria ~ we organized, cleaned, scrubbed and shared memories as I put my son’s belongings to rest.
He now has clean sheets, a television that works; so that if he ever decides to visit he shall be comfortable ~
Rest well my son ~ you were and always will be my yesterday!
“You always choose to stay
I should be thankful for every day
Heaven knows what the future holds
Or at least how the story goes
I never believed until now
I know I’ll see you again I’m sure
No it’s not selfish to ask for more
One more night one more day
One more smile on your face
But they can’t take yesterday”
Leona Lewis
Yesterday lyrics
It’s just not a pool game any more ~ they call it 3.5 grams of cocaine!
Teach your kids at an early age!
Be a responsible parent
Learn educate yourself
Slang – learn it!
IT’s Not ThaT Hard to Do ~ It Does NOt TakE that MuCh time Out of Your dAy~
Sit down in a quiet place, close your eyes and imagine what your WORLD would be without your child ~
Enough said from me ~ get more information from the DOC ~ he has the hard core facts ~
Seems like yesterday when they took him away you wake up one day and wonder where or where did this past year go ~ This is all so unreal to me, much harder now than it was over a year ago.
Most of his Jon’s friends have either moved on or are still in denial, my friends they come and go.
I have started to weed through the house, it is a cleansing experience that is not making me a happy camper. My refrigerator looks cleaner than when I purchased it!
His slippers finally moved from where they lie that day. His clothes put away nice and tidy, and yes, I smelled every shirt, every pair of pants, and even his socks ~ His TV works, his bed is made and his chair will stay put. Jonathan was young and did not have many belongings, this are my memories as I finally lay him to peace in this house.
As, I go through these days one day at a time, each day brings on a new experience, my life has forever changed and will never be the same as it was before. I am getting to the point of acceptance that learning to live with the fact that Jonathan is gone ~ forever! Yet, he still lives in my heart, my surroundings and always within my soul.
I do get out a little more, it is a very scary experience. I ventured out yesterday to run an errand which was near the pediatric dentists’ office where I took all my children. I took a big step opened the door and low and behold, she was standing behind the desk.
When I was 9 years old, we used to eat peanut butter sandwiches together at her house, giggling so hard that milk came out of our noses ~ O~So~Gross ~
She didn’t know, we talked we hugged & I told her to teach her children, I told her to make sure she scared him straight, as I did not want her to experience what I am experiencing now -
A mother should not lose a child before her eyes ~
I really needed to find a reason as to why he is still, so sad.
The “he” is my husband, not Jonathan’s natural father!
“he ~ my husband found our son”
I cannot imagine what it was like for him to have to tell me my son was dead!
I found this article very enlightening this morning and I wanted to share this with you, as it is not all about the mother ~ we must not forget that the father grieves as well.
It has been said there is no loss greater than that in the loss of a child.
For families who experience the death of a child, whether an infant or an adult, the surviving family members are often left to cope with their own feelings of grief. While the mother of the child is often consoled extensively, the father of a child who has passed away may, at times, feel lost in the grieving process.
Compounded by this process is the vastly different way in which men grieve. For the most part, this vastly different response to grief, by men, is a one that is learned, taught and expected through their own upbringing. In many cases, these same men, even when faced with the death of their own child, will view the mourning and grieving process as a challenge and test they must win.
To “win” this challenge, so to speak, the father who grieves the loss of his own child will often show an overwhelming tendency towards remaining quiet and silent. This silence, in essence, allows a grieving father to control, to some extent, his vulnerabilities and protects them from the ultimate emotional breakdown. What is commonly not seen, however, is this same grieving man who will express his grief in solitude and in silence.
When coping with the death of a child, the grieving father will commonly take on new personality traits. Because men are taught to be the protector of the family, the loss of a child is often perceived as a failure on their part and, as a result, the male figure of the family will feel as if they need to take on a role of protecting the other family members. To this end, the grieving father can become consumed in the details and events following the death of a child and, as a result, may show little to no sadness initially.
Because men cope with grief on a level that is far different from woman, it is important that they be permitted to express their grief differently. For many women, the expression of grief comes quite naturally, leaving a mother to wonder why her husband does not feel the overwhelming sense of sadness she may feel. While it may seem he does not feel these same depths of sadness, rest assured, he does. Because men are taught to behave in a manner that is not expressive during times of intense stress, and must be the protectors of the family, it is normal for a father, who has lost a child, to grieve in silence and for very prolonged periods of time.
This link was the first I clicked on ~ it has some excellent information, as well as really interesting comments ~
Direct link to the article and the person to be acknowledged ~
I am a little behind in my blogging, that copy paste mode is going into effect today!
Dr. Richard Keller had some fabulous information that I would like to share with you!
This is from a newsletter put out by LEAD (Linking Efforts Against Drugs) a parent group fighting drug use and underage drinking in the local communities of Lake Forest and Lake Bluff.
Parents Have More Power Than They Think!
Many parents have told us that they think they don’t have much power to influence teen behavior, especially regarding underage drinking. There is some information you might want to know….you have more power than you think!
1. The recent survey among local teens indicates that those whose parents had firm rules about drinking and drug use were 50% less likely to engage in this behavior. Setting boundaries and clearly communicating them does make a difference!
2. National youth surveys also indentified that the #1 reason teens don’t drink is that they don’t want to disappoint their parents. It helps to make it clear that you will be disappointed in them if they drink or smoke marijuana.
3. Driving is one of a teen’s most precious privileges. Did you know that you can revoke that priviledge for drivers under age 18?
If you have concerns about your teen’s ability to handle the responsibility of driving, or you need to make a strong statement about consequences of some poor decision making, contact the Secretary of State’s office more details.
You can also view your child’s driving record (is there a ticket you don’t know about?) on line up until they are 18 years of age.
**Another reason you should “Talk to your Kids & Hear them Speak”***
Go to cyberdriveillinois for more information.
This is way to important ~ way to serious of an issue now ~
I apologize in advance without asking permission to post this article ~
Taken straight from Chicago Breaking News:
It’s amazing how many comments in such a short time ~ more to this article found HERE!
Lake County authorities believe an unusually strong batch of heroin could be responsible for a recent spike in the number of heroin overdoses in the northern suburbs.
Coroner Richard Keller said he has asked the federal Drug Enforcement Administration to check the purity levels of heroin found in the possession of several overdose victims. Keller said he began noticing an increase in heroin overdoses in December, when eight people died from using the drug.
In January and February, the coroner’s office recorded about six deaths each month from heroin overdoses. Normally, the office averages about three heroin overdoses each month.
“We’re concerned there could be a more potent form of heroin out there than what people are used to,” Keller said.
Buffalo Grove Skate Park ~
In Memory of the Children of Our Future ~
Heroin deaths spike across Chicago area, authorities say ~ please read the article if you have children ~
chicagotribune
Hoping to spare another family grief, Laliberte’s sister, Chelsea, and parents formed a non-profit—Live 4 Lali—to help educate parents about illegal substances.
Live 4 Lali, Inc. is a non-profit organization dedicated to educating the public about drug awareness. We live in an age where drug use is rampant and information is either limited or ignored. Many people suffer from drug addictions or are unknowingly on that path and want help but may feel scared and alone, untrusting or unaware. Many families and friends of users may not know of their condition, are in denial, or don’t know how to deal with the problem. Our organization will not only educate but act as a resource center.
All contributed funds go towards our cause, rehabilitation centers, hospitals and other non-profit corporations.
We were founded in memory of Alex N. Laliberte who tragically passed away on December 15, 2008 at 20 years old from drug-related causes. His time was cut short but his memory will always live on. We hope to do that through helping others as he did in his life.
“This has been horrific,” Gary Laliberte said. “He should still be here.”
Yes he should and so should my son!
It’s never to late ~
Recent studies suggest a shift from injecting to snorting or smoking heroin because of increased purity and the misconception that these forms of use will not lead to addiction.
Heroin is processed from morphine, a naturally occurring substance extracted from the seed-pod of the Asian poppy plant. Heroin usually appears as a white or brown powder. Street names associated with heroin include “smack,” “H,” “skag,” and “junk.” Other names may refer to types of heroin produced in a specific geographical area, such as “Mexican black tar.”
Knowledge is Power, learn to listen, see the signs!
Do something about it!
Listen To Those Who Have Been Through It!~
“Talk to your children on a daily basis. Find out what is going on in their lives, and most importantly, listen to them.” — A Parent
Hit this Red Panic Button found in Link Below ~ to find help in your community.
Find it at the top of the page!
1,000 pennies is only worth $10.00, yet it weight over 6 pounds.
Now a ten spot would weight much easier on the pocket book that is until you purchase something. What do you get pocket change?
What do you do with your pocket pennies?
Example number 1 ~
The Million Penny Project
is a fundraiser initiative that invites the community and local business’s to collectively donate their financial and professional resources for a cause. The goal is to raise one million pennies ($10,000) for every participating charity demonstrating the ability to provide relief.
Example number 2 ~
The artistic way!
Rebecca Bogan ~ AdobeSol
Did you know that the newer money penny contains no zinc? She has created a barrier between the penny to protect sensitive skin, cleaned, textured and drilled. This penny hangs it in front of a pure 18 gauge textured & drilled solid copper disc. Oxidized and tumble polished for brilliant detail and shine.
Handmade Supplies and pendants:
Rustic Art Jewelry hand fabricated by Rebecca Bogan
Rebecca also donates profits of her sales to the JDRF Foundation
Example Number 3
Pumped ~ it’s called brand marketing!
I copied and pasted these article’s ~ as I am so tired of waiting for this to awakening withing our community to happen – to many children are not with us today so please ~ make sure you RSVP as well – read the rules!
If you are in the vicinity ~ please take some time out of your day to listen, learn & educate yourselves.
By RONNIE WACHTER rwachter@pioneerlocal.com
The Buffalo Grove School Safety Partnership, in conjunction with Buffalo Grove and Stevenson high schools, will hold a community forum Thursday to address the topic of drug abuse in the area.
The event is part of a regional effort to increase the awareness and understanding of drug activity and its consequences to parents of high school age students.
The meeting is scheduled for 7 to 9 p.m. at the Buffalo Grove Park District’s Alcott Center, 530 Bernard Drive, and will place special emphasis on heroin abuse.
Heroin and prescription drug overdoses throughout the area have become a widespread and persistent public safety problem that creates serious personal, social and economic consequences for adolescents, their families and the community.
“We’re directing this at parents of high school students, upper grades,” Buffalo Grove police Cmdr. Steve Husak said. “There have been a few overdoses and other issues that have been on the rise in the last year.”
“The walls need to be put up,” said Lisa Stone, a Buffalo Grove trustee who helped organize the meeting because of her concern about heroin use in the community. “It’s the most powerful drug on our planet.”
Stone said Friday that she would like to see Buffalo Grove become known as the No. 1 community in Illinois in the fight against heroin, as its Police Department is known as a leader in the fight against drunken driving.
The program will feature presentations by:
• Lake County Metropolitan Enforcement Group’s regional drug task force
• Lake County Coroner’s Office
• Lake County States Attorney’s Office
• Northeastern Illinois Regional Crime Laboratory.
The public is invited, and can R.S.V.P at the village of Buffalo Grove Web site vbg.org by following the instructions on the community forum announcement, or by e-mailing Husak at shusak@vbg.org
Good Luck ~ May “God” bless you all – vonna ~
I found this article very interesting – as well as this website you should read more – it could help… IMO – boarding school costs money ~ we can as a community help these children ~ OUR CHILDREN!
Enough said – bookmark this if you would like and read it later – just have a Happy 4th of July – do you know what your children are doing tonight?
By Jeffrey S. Brain, M.A., C.T.S. (Certified Trauma Specialist)
We live in violent times, in a country where an incident of child abuse is reported every ten seconds; where domestic violence claims the lives of three women every single day; and where every year half a million senior citizens are abused – most often by a member of their own family.
Considering that one in nine murders is committed by youth under 18, we can assume that most perpetrators of violent crimes are – or once were – angry teens. According to a recent survey, three out of four teenage boys admitted to hitting someone in the past year because they were angry. Almost half believe it’s okay to hit or threaten a person who makes them mad, and have carried a gun, knife or club in the past month.
And one third agreed with the statement
“When I am really angry, there is no way I can control myself.”
Learning to manage one’s anger is an essential life skill for anyone, but especially for teenagers who frequently use anger as a response to the frustrations and stresses of growing up.
In this respect, anger (as well as other emotions like sadness, anxiety, hopelessness and self-pity), resembles alcohol. They can all be used to “self-medicate” – to compensate for the pressures and strains the teenager hasn’t yet learned to deal with. Often anger itself becomes the coping mechanism, a way of exerting power and control over one’s environment. Used habitually in this way, it is a dangerous substitute for healthier, more adaptive coping strategies-strategies that can’t be learned until the anger can be managed. And like those who habitually use drugs, alcohol, eating, gambling or sex as coping mechanisms, those who use anger will find that it inevitably interferes with normal functioning, and can eventually destroy any opportunity for happiness or satisfaction in life.
The good news is that the 12-Step program, which has help millions of alcoholics, drug abusers, compulsive eaters, gamblers and others in the throes of addiction, can also help angry teens.
How the 12 Steps Work for Anger The core tenets of the 12 Steps, including rigorous honesty, are related to cognitive-behavioral therapy and share some of the same approaches for permanently changing one’s behavior.
The 12 Steps challenge our thinking about the way we see and interpret experiences, and teach us how to respond to stress not in the heat of the moment, but according to our values and principles. The process involves not trusting our own thinking. This is an important concept in managing anger. The judgments and conclusions we draw when we are responding emotionally to a situation (i.e. the things we think when we are angry) often drive our physical reactions. In the 12-Step model, however, we learn to think beyond the emotion to a healthier, more adaptive response. Angry people are like the man whose house is set on fire and goes chasing after the arsonist instead of tending to the more important task of putting the fire out. His response is totally self-defeating, yet those who struggle with managing their anger can easily see themselves doing the same thing. Driven by the emotion of perceived wrong, they chase after others (revenge, resentment) rather than dealing with the real problem – the fire. In fact, many of us have lost the ability to put out our own fires. Instead, we automatically shift the responsibility for our anger to others, chasing them down while our life disintegrates around us. The analogy applies to alcohol and substance abuse as well, and to other addictions that can distract us from the more important work of dealing with the problems at hand. In many cases, teens turn to alcohol, drugs, food or sex to suppress their anger. While they may find temporary relief, the long term effects can be disastrous. With regular use, these substances and behaviors take on lives of their own. So even if the teen gets help and manages to make his or her problems and frustrations go away, the addiction remains.
A weekly Anger Management group what a concept for a school to implement with the lost children of their system. 12 step progman may have a stigma attached ~ get over it people!
Share you experiences with them, teach them strategies to help them regain balance, control and serenity in their lives as they move through the crises of adolescence toward responsible adulthood!
It’s a whole new world out their ~ get with the program – on baby step at a time!
Life just happens when you least expect it to. Death does too, but you know this all to well.
I can’t imagine what your life is like. I honesty would not want to be in your position, as I am sure you would certainly not want to be in mine.
I was quite shocked today when I read the Daily Herald article. “Dr. Richard Keller won’t seek re-election in 2012.” Politics has been interfering with his responsibilities and outreach efforts……
I have to apologize as my daddy told me never to talk about politics!
So if the readers of my blog need to know more they can click here article -By Russell Lissau
I will tell you a little story though, my third week into my senior year in high school my chemistry teacher asked me if I had enough credits to graduation if I dropped his class. “Why do you ask?” I said. His response – “We alrighty then, do yourself a favor drop the class, when your grade report comes and you get an “F” it will affect your grade point average!”
So, I ran straight to the office and dropped the class. It was 10:30 AM; yes in the morning.
I went and got myself a job at 17 years old. Nope never went to college to become that Nurse I wanted to be, instead I worked full time everyday up until 2005.
Yes, life does just happen ~ for the good or the bad, for the right and for the wrong.
I am a survivor of my life.
You as well Doc Keller will survive this choice you have made. I respect your decision and thank you from the bottom of my heart for helping take care of my son. Yes, and all the the other boys too.
I will continue my journey helping the only way I know how, as I was taught.
Be good to others and they shall be good to you.
You are a wise and honest man, I respect your decision. Life is to short, do what you need to do.
It’s so late and I am so tired – I think I’ll finish this in the morning!
Searching once again for answers, information, anything that will get me through a rough day ~ not exactly what I was looking for – but maybe this will help a passer by! Hopefully in the next few days I will get you the rest of the story.
Help for Parents with Addicted Children
Addiction to drugs and alcohol among our children covers the entire social and economic spectrum in our society.
Many ascribe addiction to poor parenting, however while poor parenting can contribute to the addiction problem, good parenting does not prevent it. Some families have one addicted child while their other children, living in the same environment, do not become addicts. So whether you are certain your son or daughter is not addicted, suspect they may be addicted or know that they are addicted, you may want to read more of this article. You will find help on recognizing addiction, learning what you may be doing to enable it and what you can do to help your son or daughter and to help yourself deal with it.
Parents are often the last to recognize addiction in their children. Studies have shown that about 4% of parents of 9 to 11 year olds believe their child may have used drugs while about 25% of these children admit to doing so. There are several reasons for this. The children get very good at hiding alcohol and drug use from their parents while parents do not want to believe it to be possible. In addition, there is a judgmental attitude that drug and alcohol use is the result of poor parenting so parents deny the problem even in the face of strong evidence to the contrary.
Part Two! More tomorrow ~ Think about it ~
Positive Articles excerpts ~
Here are some questions to help you determine if your son or daughter has the disease of addiction.
1. Do you have relatives on either or both sides of your family who are addicted? Genetics plays a large role and sometimes the disease skips a generation or two.
2. Have you found evidence of drug use in your home such as marijuana joints, empty liquor containers (either theirs or yours) or drug paraphernalia? Children will go to great lengths to hide alcohol and drug use from parents, so if they are leaving evidence this is an indication they have lost control of their use.
3. Have you seen a major change in behavior such as grooming habits, loss of interest in family activities, studying habits, withdrawing, depression, new friends, belligerence, extreme defensiveness, etc.?
4. Has your son or daughter gotten a MIP or DUI, been charged with shoplifting or theft?
5. Do they tell you that they are not affected by drinking alcohol or can drink more than their peers? This usually is perceived as good thing by an addict but actually indicates they have developed a high tolerance because of excessive use.
6. Have you seen burns on their fingers or lips, needle marks, or sores on their nose and face?
7. Has your son or daughter lost weight or developed a poor appetite?
8. Do they have money problems and refuse to explain how it is being spent?
Hopefully these questions will help you decide whether there is a problem or not. If you believe there is, you must begin by understanding what is and is not enabling behavior and how to avoid it.
Article Source: http://www.positivearticles.com
One of the most important aspects of my healing process is to reach out to others of like in kind. Debra Smith Anderson the Founder & Executive Director of Margaret Ann’s Place has become my friend from the start of my new journey of what life is like after loosing a child. Without her persistence, her hopes for me moving on day by day, her cheer leading skills, as well as her wealth of knowledge through her own experience. ~ I would of scrapped this website for my son a long time ago and gone into hermitville!
As many of you may or may not realize approximately 93% of non-profits have budgets under 1 million dollars. The economy has effected the growth of non-profits, the economy has effected Margaret Ann’s Place ~
I found this on the web ~ Economic Crisis: Non-Profit Statistics
As you can see by the email Deb has sent out to all her supporters. Change has come ~ Please visit to read more about Margaret Ann’s Place.
Help if you are able ~ I thank you for your time.
Dear Vonna,
We were only able to organize the event in Pleasant Prairie this year but hope many of you will make the drive. We need at least 50 participants for the event to go. There will be a few changes in the 25 mile route due to construction, so we may be under or over a few miles. You can register online or by mail. The 50 mile ride is not listed. Please let me know if you are interested. If we get more than 10 experienced riders, I will set up a rest stop.
Thank you for your participation and helping to ensure the mission of MargaretAnn’s Place – providing support, education and awareness to grieving children and their families!
With Hope & Gratitude,
Debra Smith-Andersen – Executive Director
“MargaretAnn’s Place is recognized by the Internal Revenue Service as a non-profit agency under501(c)(3) of the Internal Revenue Code.”
Children in my opinion as well as young adults in college ~ do not want to talk to authoritative people.
They feel alone - I have found a place for parents to gather information, listen to stories to gain some tools to help our youth.
Margaret Ann’s Place is targeted for children ages 5 – 18 ~ with JdMacHope ~ my goal is to help the children, parents & community; the young adults that have moved out of the house and are in need or a place to be able to speak openly; of addiction, peer pressure, and grief. To gain the tools to strive & survive successfully without tragedy without violence, or harming themselves.
Well, now we can! www.goodsearch.com is a new search engine that donates half its revenue to the charities its users designate.
You use it just as you would any search engine, and it’s powered by Yahoo!, so you get great results.
Just go to www.goodsearch.com and be sure to enter MargaretAnn’s Place as the charity you want to support.
Just 500 of us searching four times a day will raise about $7300 in a year without anyone spending a dime!
I discovered this poem on Google
The Grief Blog
By Lana Golembeski -
The grief lies quietly,
Beneath the surface of our souls.
It follow us around like
An unwanted shadow.
It is cunning.
It doesn’t strike like it used to.
But it strikes like a ghost;
Hidden, unseen, unpredictable.
It lies just below the surface;
Following us everywhere we go.
It never leaves us.
It does not hit like it used to;
Putting us in the fetal position.
But it is unrelenting
Gnawing at our heart and soul;
Eating at us slowly, but surely.
It shadows our very lives.
It never leaves us alone.
It constantly reminds us of our forever loss.
It is a softer grief;
But it never, ever, goes away.
my parents never told me ~
there is a time to grieve
there is a time to breathe
there is a time to wake up
there is a time to go to bed
there is no time to listen to someone tell you when are you going to just STOP!
no, no, no, no, no it won’t just stop ~ it will be with you forever
that’s why I have such good friends who like to poke me
“The Compassionate Friends is about transforming the pain of grief into the elixir of hope. It takes people out of the isolation society imposes on the bereaved and lets them express their grief naturally. With the shedding of tears, healing comes. And the newly bereaved get to see people who have survived and are learning to live and love again.”
—Simon Stephens, founder of The Compassionate Friends
just type in your zip code to find help in your community!
“On Sunday, 15 million people will tune in to 60 Minutes to watch my family’s struggle with our daughter Lauren’s disease-epilepsy. David, Lauren, and I chose to do this because we need to do whatever we can to bring epilepsy out of the shadows and ask our fellow Americans to help us find a cure. This is my life’s mission, and it’s why we started CURE. In the program, people will also meet a courageous war veteran, Captain Pat Horan, who has epilepsy following a traumatic brain injury, and visit the research lab of CURE’s scientific advisory Frances Jensen. I’m certain it will be a powerful show.
If I had one hope for this broadcast, it would be that, after Sunday, people won’t think of epilepsy as benign and easily treatable, but instead realize that millions of people are affected by it, that 30 percent of patients continue to have seizures, and that epilepsy can and does kill. As many as 50,000 men, women, and children die every year as a result of an epileptic seizure. And every five minutes a child will be diagnosed in the United States.
When people learn these facts-and become aware of how little funding for research there is-I am confident they will help. That’s why we are launching the Every Dollar Counts Campaign/Every Seizure Matters Campaign to raise $250,000 for epilepsy research by the end of the year to fund the Special Friends for a Cure award. Remember, every dollar counts!
So on Sunday, please tune in to 60 Minutes so I know that friends are watching. And please help us spread the word-together, we can.”
–
Susan Axelrod
CURE President and Founder
Heroin
Heroin is a highly addictive drug, and its use is a serious problem in America. Recent studies suggest a shift from injecting heroin to snorting or smoking because of increased purity and the misconception that these forms of use will not lead to addiction.
What to Look for:
Dry mouth
Droopy appearance, as if extremities are “heavy”
Alternately wakeful and drowsy
Disorientation, poor mental functioning
Signs of injection; infections
Shallow breathing
Heroin abuse is associated with serious health conditions, including fatal overdose, spontaneous abortion, collapsed veins, and infectious diseases, including HIV/AIDS and hepatitis.
Slang:
Alquitran, anti-freeze, Aries, beast, Big H, brown sugar, china white, brown, crap, dirt, DOA, dope, Dr. Feelgood, gallup, gato, girl, gold, goodhorse, H, hard, heaven, Henry, Harry, shoot-up, skag, spoon, smack, shoot, tigre de blanco, quill, mayo, karachi, wings, witch.
“Adolescents are particularly at risk of adverse reactions from hallucinogen use as they enter puberty, a time of rapid physical and emotional changes. Hallucinogens are particularly dangerous because the effects are so unpredictable. They can cause violent behavior in some and suicidal tendencies in others. As memory, perception, and judgment are clouded under the influence, users are at risk of severe injuries, overdose, and death from drowning, burns, falls, and car accidents. Sometimes, hallucinogen use can uncover severe mental disorders, such as schizophrenia or severe depression.” Texas Commission on Alcohol and Drug Abuse.
Visit Adolescent Substance Abuse for more useful information!
jdmachope
